my mom claims that i do whatever i want and never care what anyone else thinks. not sure if she means in a "free spirit" kind of way or a "screw everyone else" kind of way. maybe both.
i would argue that i agonize endlessly over what other people think. am i making them uncomfortable? insulting their integrity? more importantly, am i hurting their feelings?
sometimes the answer is yes. sometimes i know the answer is yes but it doesn't mean that it sits well with me.
other times i worry so much that my stomach hurts; maybe i even cry about it. the funny thing is that only half of those times are warranted; the conflict begins and ends within my own mind. i have literally made myself crazy for nada on more than one occasion.
apart from providing proof that i am not made of stone - what is the point of all this worrying? if i did indeed hurt someone's feelings, agonizing over it isn't going to make them feel better. and if their feelings aren't hurt? then what am i getting so worked up over?
sometimes i think i literally can't distinguish between my own feelings and someone else's
1 comment:
rule # 1: do not care that much about what your mother (or father) thinks. is soothing.
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