a welcome to womanhood at age 7

written 5 years ago and never posted:

about four weeks ago my seven year old (now 12) came home from school and broke down in tears. 

when i asked her what was wrong she told me about a man in a car that asked her why she was all alone, where were her parents and did she want him to walk with her? or for her to get into his car?

being an intelligent seven year old, this sent off a red flag in her amazing little brain and she said "no" and ran to catch up to a group of friends. 

her story shook me. 

it reminded me of the time i was nine years old walking along the streets of NYC with my mother and her friend, and her friend's daughter - we were all dressed up going out for our annual tradition of high tea, when a man stuck his hand up my mini skirt and grabbed my ass on the corner of 58th and 5th. i was only two years older than my seven year old is now.

the thing i remember feeling was a weakness; a feeling of stupidity. i was a little embarrassed, a little scared, but mostly overwhelmed with the feeling of powerlessness. 

i had hoped that my brave seven year old would feel brave again. i told her what an amazing job she had done. how clever she was for saying "no", running to catch up with friends and telling me right away.

i told her that if she wanted me to walk with her i would, but quietly hoped that after a few days she would feel safe enough to want to walk alone again. 

some people think i'm crazy for letting her walk alone. that i should protect her. but when i think back to how i wish i had been protected as a little girl and a young woman, this is what i wish for: 

someone to have told me that i was strong and smart and that no one could make me feel otherwise. that my body was mine and could give me the words to say if i didn't like something. 

i want my seven year old to feel safe and confident walking to school, or being at school or hanging out outside of school when she is old enough to "hang out". i want her to know that she is loved and she is strong.  confidence might be the most powerful protection i can offer her in this world.