happy thirty two

birthdays have always been sort of a big deal in my family. we make a point of all getting together for a lunch or a dinner; we get presents, and there is always some form of cake, or something you can stick a candle into. but more than the tangible parts, there was always a feeling on birthdays, at least for me (and especially as a kid) of something really special, indescribable and almost magical.

my last couple of birthdays have been fluttered with gestures that make me smile such as the one pictured above (erk's artful arrangement of my breakfast). but as i get older, my birthdays have become less about indulgence and more about taking inventory on the things i am grateful for; a reflection on the past X number of years (like this post from the year i turned thirty).

but this year i have so much to be grateful for, and rather than looking back, i am tempted to look forward...this was my first (of however more remaining birthdays i have in this life) as a mother. there is no greater gift than what i already have; every day i fall more deeply in love with little m and can't believe that i am lucky enough to be her mom.

having witnessed her birth, i have a new perspective on what a birthday actually is, what it is that we are acknowledging every year. life is a friggin miracle and watching it arrive to the world, and being responsible for actually transporting it into existence is miraculous.

i look forward to celebrating little m's birthday every year and making her see a fraction of what i came to understand only a month ago; that at times, there is in fact a bit of magic in the world.