nyc

i have been recently missing new york. the place and the people.

(photo credit: isabel freeman)

how to pack a day in new york

•  
• slept at my sister's house to take her two older kids to school (by bus) and be her eldest' "special guest" the following morning (sleeping over also allowed me to hang with the smaller two in the early hours - my favorite time to snuggle with a baby - even if one of them keeps spitting up all over the place)
• coffee with my stepdad - talk about life, love, the pursuit of happiness
• stop in at BT (former place of employment, daycare to aforementioned cute babies) to drop off a gift and say hello again to babies (one was sleeping and one was uninterested in my enthusiastic greeting)
• head downtown (by subway) to have lunch with a near and dear friend that i hadn't gotten a chance to speak to in too long a time
• head to queens (by subway) for 2pm appointment. from subway station, cab it the 10 blocks for fear of being late/getting lost in this "culo del mundo" part of queens - even the cabbie didn't know how to get to where i needed to go
• wait in the waiting room for two hours (thankful for that $8 cab ride to ensure i got there at 2pm) seen at 4, out by 5.
• head back into manhattan (by subway) to meet up with another near and dear friend (and her sister! my favorite sister besides mine owns) for margharitas and fried calamari. (more people i don't see often enough)
• head to BAM for a slow/beautiful dance concert (by subway) nod off a little during the concert (i was tired, and as i said, it was slow)
• head back into manhattan to see the tail-end of my big brother's soccer game (by subway)
• while rushing to get on aforementioned subway, a "helpful" woman holding the door for all of us rushing through the turn-style knocked me with her enthusiastic "come on!" waving arm. normally i would not mind being bumped by a do-gooder's enthusiastic arm, but this bump bumped the hand that was holding not mine, but my sister's, unlimited monthly metrocard. as i looked in horror at the card falling the woman continued, "come on! get on!" in her cheery, do-gooder voice. i replied "that was an unlimited!" as the woman's eyes followed my angry gesture toward the space between the platform and train, she sheepishly slunk away. she was either too embarrassed to get on the train, or was trying to avoid my asking to pay for another card. 
• considered it for a moment and then jumped in to grab the card, and out without anyone noticing
• saw the last two minutes of big brother's game
• met up with bf and drove uptown (by car, with metrocard safe)
• had another talk about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. 
• was out like a light

where were you ten years ago today?

i was at a health center at rutgers. i dont remember why. i had felt sick? i needed a form filled out? i just remember sitting in the waiting room and overhearing the secretaries talk about what they had just heard on the radio. "idiots" i thought. they were clearly misquoting; "a plane flew into one of the twin towers"? did they even know where the twin towers were? they were obviously mistaken.  by the time i heard that a second one had hit i was even more convinced that someone, somewhere was confused. it was possible that a plane could accidentally hit a building, but not two planes. then the images on the television in the waiting room confirmed what had been said: the buildings had been hit; but also clarified a misconception - it could not have possibly been an accident.

on my bike ride back to my house just off campus i passed a clinic collecting blood for the hundreds of estimated victims that would need it. months later i got a letter in the mail thanking me for my donation that day.  i remember thinking how odd it was -  there were no victims that needed my blood on 9/11. the most injured victims had all died.

the following day i took the train into new york. the new jersey transit was not collecting fares from anyone - at least not those entering or leaving new york city. when i arrived to penn station i went up to the street level, despite needing to stay underground to get to my mother's house. i was struck by how quiet that part of the city was. struck too, by the smell that reached all the way up to my mother's house at least six miles away from where the towers' remains were still burning.

part of me wished i could live in a tree somewhere and hide. the feeling of not being safe was so foreign to me - and yet, there was no relief like that of being with my family. weeks and months later relief continued through the cheering of pedestrians, as firemen passed by on their way down to the site to help clean up. a city that could at times be so cold, came together in such a lovingful way. im thinking about that city and that time today.

i haul

yesterday was the first time in my life driving one of these things. as i approached broadway from 94th street i had to squeeeeeeeze past a double-parked truck. i asked for some assistance from a man on the street who advised me to tuck in my mirrors and not move the wheel at ALL as he waved me forward. it was a tight squeeze. when i finally inched my way past the truck entirely, i stopped at the light to push my mirrors back out. without those mirrors i couldn't see ANYTHING except what was directly in front of me. i couldn't even turn to look over my shoulder...the cars behind me started honking the instant that the light turned green. the honking persisted as i was trying to move as quickly as possible. but almost as an instinct i countered with an insane burst of cursing through the open windows. "calm the f*%$ down you f*%$#&*^ a$$hole!" it was my way of saying goodbye to a city that literally drives me crazy...but one i will also always love.

bicycle, bicycle

i rode my bike to the upper east side yesterday to tutor .then over to williamsburg for my silks class. on my way back home i went thru so many neighborhoods in manhattan it felt like taking a professionally routed tour of the city. some of it made me think about how nice it would have been to share the experience. other parts of the ride recalled personal memories making the experience more private. probably the most interesting was my interaction with my fellow new yorkers. the following is an ode to my city, inspired both by my ride and by ed norton's monologue in spike lee's 25th hour - very much a new york moment:

f the cars whose left turns block the bike lane, forcing me to stop when i've picked up momentum
f the cab drivers who find the need to speed dangerously close by me; as if the lane they are in is not sufficiently spacious for their sloppy driving
f the people that j-walk as they watch me coming toward them at full speed; thinking that because i am not a car, they can stroll out in front of me rolling towards them
f the chinese and mexican delivery bikers riding against the traffic - not only giving bike riding a bad name but also making it more dangerous for those of us that can follow basic traffic logic
f one delivery man in particular for making animal noises behind me as we both rode up 6th avenue
and to the other delivery man who came biking across 6th avenue even though he had a red light?
well i would say f him too, except that he and the animal noise biker almost crashed into each other - both stopping short and flipping up onto only their front wheels (which made for a spectacular sight.... and it also shut up the animal noise maker) so instead i say thank you.
it was a good ride

feelings

i was recently re-telling a story about how i engaged in a verbal altercation with someone on the subway. the language became so aggressive so quickly that despite the fact that i had not been looking to start a fight, i suddenly found myself instigating one.

i was sitting cross legged on the subway when a man hit my foot with a hand cart he wheeled by me. he didn't say excuse me nor did i ask him to excuse himself (something i was tempted to do) instead i made a face (one that said "thanks for hitting my foot"). i was unaware that the man saw the face i made. he responded, "watch your fucking foot"
"excuse me?" i asked
"you heard me. i saw you make that fucking face, and you should watch your fucking foot, you bitch"
now, maybe it's the teacher in me, but sometimes i feel the urge to be the manners police with total strangers. why? dunno - dumb.
"wow, you have zero manners," i said
that made him even more angry; as if, he cared about what i thought about his manners, "i'm going to fucking kick your ass you fucking bitch"
at this point i almost wanted him to make an attempt to hit me so that i could be justified in releasing all of my pent up anything and everything on him
"anything else you wanna say?" i asked
"yeah, i hope you fucking die"
that seemed like a bit much. death? i looked around at the subway expecting to see people ready to jump in and defend me. but everyone on the subway was doing what i should have done from the moment the man opened his angry mouth, "ignore him"
i pretended to continue reading my book but my hands were shaking a little.
i resented the fact that other people could have the power to inspire so much rage within me. i decided that i was not going to play into anymore as i had. instead i continued to pretend to read my book until it was my stop.
as i was exiting the subway i couldn't help but say one last thing.
"have a nice day"
"go fuck yourself!" he screamed back

in order to ensure a late night

1: make sure that while doing your laundry, you lock yourself out of your apartment.

• quickly think about who has keys and realize that the two people you are sure of live hours away (useful).
• consider the fact that your sister (one subway stop away) might have keys.
• make sure not to have your phone on you to verify.
• make sure not to have proper clothing so that you have to jog to the subway to stay warm
• make sure to not have your metrocard so that you need to hop the turnstyle (something you did in paris and got fined for)

be grateful that she:
a. had the keys
b. lent you her metrocard so you could ride home without breaking the law again
c. gave you more quarters to finish your laundry

2: miss your stop on the subway when you are coming home from your friend's birthday party

• make sure that you are traveling a fair distance (brooklyn to manhattan... for example)
• make sure to wake up at every stop leading up to your stop
• make sure to wake up at your stop and make a mad dash to the doors as they are closing
• notice someone say "aw" as a response to your pathetic attempt to exit the train late
• wait at the next stop (your sister's stop again) for the train headed in the opposite direction to take you back to the stop you missed

be grateful that:
at 2:30am it's your favorite conductor taking you home, reminding everyone not to litter and to be courteous (some of us need reminders...)

my favorite conductor

i entered the station this morning and looked at my watch. a couple minutes before 7 seems to be the right time to catch my favorite subway at 96th street. if you want to read about what i'm talking about click here, or here.

i guess what i love about this conductor, apart from his humor and high spirits (at a time of day when most of us need both) is that he is a link to the real world, down in the subway one. The subway is always dark, the trains always running - but it is this conductor that reminds us when it is the week of thanksgiving, when it is cold outside and to bundle up (as he did today). he is also a voice of decency. today, as he does many other days, he reminded us to pick up after ourselves - to throw things in the trash and not on the ground. indeed, some of us seem to need a reminder - a voice of consciousness.

today was especially nice because i managed to get towards the middle of the train (one conductor rides in the front, one in the middle) and when i got off at 14th street i had enough time to ask this conductor what his name was and tell him how much he improved my morning commute on the days i was lucky enough to catch his subway. i think it's always good to let people know when you appreciate them.

thank you kevin.

rushing nowhere

i was running down into the subway station, carrying two grocery bags from zabar's - determined to make it onto the train that just pulled into 79th street. i rushed past one group of people meandering down the stairs, past another strolling toward the turn-styles but then got stuck behind an old lady unable to get her metrocard successfully swiped. she kept re-swiping over and over again as hoards of people exited the train and spilled through the remaining turn-styles, making it impossible for me to enter through any besides the one this old lady was blocking.

"la puta que me parió" i muttered quietly- and the moment i heard myself say the words, i was instantly ashamed. why was i so annoyed? apart from aggravating my o.c.d. for anything related to efficiency, what difference did it make if i got on this train or the next? sometimes i feel like this city turns me into a little ball of tension.

aaaaand it's tuesday

i got my conductor this morning. i think it was what i needed after last night's experience riding the subway.

right before stopping at 14th street where he reminded everyone that we could transfer to neeeeeeeeeeew jersey, he also reminded us to have a happy thanksgiving.

"thanksgiving. giving thanks; being thankful doesn't have to happen only one day of the year, folks - you can do it every day"

we're doing monday, folks

i typically ride the 2/3 subway line downtown sometime between 6:40 a.m. and 7:00 a.m. to get to work. on my lucky days i catch a particular conductor whose spiel i have memorized for every stop. even so, his participation in my morning commute is like a breath of fresh air in a place where not a lot of fresh air is readily accessible.

at the 34th street stop he welcomes queens and long island to the train: "gooooooooood morning queens and long island! we're doing monday today folks. it's gonna be monday aaaaaaaall day" at 14th street he lists all the transfer possibilities and gives a detailed description of how to make each one; what end of the platform to go to, what train to take to which stop in order to connect with another train etc.

not only does he like to spread his love over the loud speaker, but as the train is pulling out of each station he sticks his head out of the subway window and wishes all the people on the subway platform a good day.

it's amazing how someone's positive energy has the potential to rub off on you. reminds me how huge little acts of kindness can be and how it inspires people (if only temporarily) to pay it forward.

the things kids say...

here are some of the things my students have said in class to me (6th and 8th grade)

j: "i don't have my homework - s (another student) stole it from me to copy my answers"
(shocking because j's answers are almost always wrong)

o: "i didn't know we had homework"
(yes you did, i told you in class and it was posted online)

o: "i didn't know there were questions on the back of the sheet of homework"
(meaning you never picked up the sheet of paper)

n: "i don't need to take notes, i know all of this already"
(i offered to give him a pop quiz the next class)

n: "i'll take a pop quiz next class, i know all of this"
(not sure if it was the embarrassment of not knowing the answer when i stumped him with an unjustly hard question, or if my offering to quiz the whole class on his behalf is what inspired him to take out his notebook and take notes)

j: "you have cool sneakers"
(thanks)

sept 11

it wasn't until i was in hoboken, looking over the hudson and onto the manhattan skyline that i really remembered what day it was.

on the northern end of the picture is the empire state building. it has been the tallest thing in this skyline for the past 9 years - except on the anniversary of septemeber 11th. on that day, past dusk, two beams of light shoot up in the air, symbolically marking the space the towers occupied.

there is something comforting about seeing those beams of light in the sky. partly because they are visible from any part of the city, and partly because traditions are important - remembering is important.

bicycle, bicycle

i covered more ground today on my bike than i would have in a marathon. for those of you that don't know (most don't) a marathon in always 26.2 miles.

yes, it was exhausting, but it was also very empowering. especially in nyc - biking is the quickest way to get from one point to the other. i like that it's your body's force that propells the mechanism; i like that kind of effort that pays off immediately - if you pedal hard, then you'll move fast.

are you admiring the lovely picture above? i took it on my way to work. ten minutes faster than taking the subway there and a tad more enjoyable than sweating with the rats underground; waiting for whatever train is last to arrive at any given moment.

i didn't fully realize how much i missed having a bike. sometimes you don't know what you've got till it's gone, and sometimes you don't know what you haven't got until you borrow someone else's.

heat

this candle stood upright on the ledge of my window. after toppling over, the incredible heat melted it into the child-safety bars that you see here. it took several minutes to pry it free from the metal. this photo is a nice visualization to how i am feeling without air conditioning.

Sharing with Strangers

i love this idea. you can read about it.
or watch a youtube video

i didn't get a chance to go with the BT kids to see them all play. but i did have the good fortune of coming across a pair of pianos with my little brother down in soho last friday. a man was playing one and my brother accompanied him on the other. they then each played some of their own songs. it was a sweet exchange between strangers.

key to many places

ironically, i'm going to talk about keys again - one in particular.

about a week ago a friend in philly sent me an article about this project. so today i stood on a line in times square in order to both give and receive a key (people tend to go in groups, and those of us that go solo find another solitude on line to exchange keys with). the key will unlock a couple dozen places around the 5 boroughs of new york. places that are otherwise not accessible.

there was something sweet about participating in such a formal ceremony with a complete stranger.

joaquín

i took the subway home with my three year old nephew today.
i watched in love-struck awe as he worked on his $1.00 icy.
the sweetened, frozen water stained his lips both yellow and green.
occasionally he closed his eyes while sucking on the tiny paper cup, as if to enhance his icy experience, or perhaps to simply enter a deep concentration.
i noticed him balance himself with the movement of the subway car, and i couldn't help but think, "no one is cuter than this".

i started thinking about what a crazy childhood one has growing up in nyc-
the standard of noise and crowds we grow accustomed to.
i thought about how people had discussed not wanting to raise their children in such a city and thinking, "well...i grew up here and i had a happy childhood, as far as i can remember..."
as if reading my mind, joaquín said something that i was sure i misheard.
when i asked him to repeat himself he confirmed what i had thought he had said:
"i love new york"
where did that statement come from?
when i could effectively question him further about this totally random comment, he clarified, "i love new york because it is my home."
as an ambivalent new yorker myself, i thought that summed it up pretty perfectly.
i love new york because it is my home.