peggy is____________

"a tiger"
that was how mora filled in that blank when she was asked at the age of 3 and a half.

today i went and bought new crocs just like the ones i had two years ago when peggy would make fun of me for how they made my feet stink

and lena just forwarded me a group chat she had saved in her gmail between the three of us plus isabel. reading it made me tear from laughing so hard

while all these recent little things remind me of peggy, i think what most struck me was seeing my brother fall apart over the loss of someone from his life yesterday. it reminded me how devastating it was - how impossible to understand

i have been thinking about peggy a lot.

and how much i miss talking to her.

the day of her funeral i wrote to her
and every day after that for months, i continued to write.
sometimes long and emotional letters
sometimes little informal notes

i haven't written to her in almost a year
but i still have her number in my phone, as i am sure many of us do
it's a comfort to keep it there