the good the bad and the ugly

the good
a couple of days ago one of my juniors asked (in spanish) about the scarf that i always wear. ¿por qué? so i began to explain that i tend to get cold, that i like the style, and that it covers up my increasingly large panza. "pants?" they asked
"no, estómago" ....some kids already pieced it together and asked in disbelief and excitement, "you're pregnant? really?!"
their faces lit up in authentic joy. it was soooo cute. and then soon the entire class of 15 and 16 year old boys was cheering and clapping and giving me a standing ovation. and even though half of them were probably doing it to waste a couple of minutes of classtime, or to mock their overly enthusiastic classmates, it was still incredibly sweet, embarassing and made me feel pretty awesome.

the bad

sooooo, i went to go play soccer last tuesday.
bad idea?
yes, the universe thought so too.
just as i was thinking about when i should retire from the high impact sport, i ran over to cover an open offensive player for the other team standing directly infront of our goal. as i made my way to the goal-side of him to protect the net, i very un-coolly rolled my ankle. the ball was nowhere near us. the action was nowhere near us. i just clumsily rolled my own pregnant self over my own damn ankle. and as the cracking noise rang out and i went down, i knew i wasn't getting back up again. how embarassing. i CRAWLED off the field. luckily by half a day later i could finally limp on it. today i am walking, but it still looks pretty funky, and if you touch me in the right spot i will cry.

the ugly
last august i got a lame-ass ticket for running a stop sign that not even your grandmother would stop at. it's on a narrow one-way street that comes to T as a side street joins it. technically i did stop, right behind the guy who was infront of me and stopped. from there i could see there was no on-coming traffic, but what i couldn't see was the cop car around the corner planted, waiting for people to run the sign. that's right, so many people don't stop at that stupid sign, that the pain-in-the-ass owner of the house on the corner complained and got a cop to give out tickets all day long.
so when the guy infront of me went, i went but the cop who gave me the ticket was nice enough. almost apologetic when giving me the ticket, told me i could go to court to fight it and he wouldn't even show up. or at least that's what i understood. because when i went to court he was there. he offered me a deal: he would take the points off that i was being given (unaware i was getting points) but have me keep the $118 fine. i asked what the alternative was. he said "we go into the court room and have it out"
"your word against mine?" i asked
"yes"
i opted for the court idea. getting the points removed wasn't going to feel like a victory, i didn't even know about the points.
so we went into this small-town court room. just me and the cop; the judge sat high up where judges do. we started with the cop's testimony. it was pretty cut and dry, he sat at such and such a corner, with a view of this intersection, saw the defendant driving such and such a car go through the stop sign, issued the ticket blah blah. then i was asked if i wanted to cross-examine him. any questions i had for mr cop?
as nicely as i could i simply asked "is there any chance that you thought i didn't stop because you didn't see me stop? your car was down the street and i didn't see you..."
i was told to just stick to the question, testimony was coming later
ok just the question
his answer was "no" if he pulled me over it was because he saw me not stop.
no further questions
it was my turn to testify. i had to go up and put my hand on a book i have never read and don't believe in and swear to tell the truth
i chose carefully which parts of the truth i told.
i didn't mention coming to a stop behind the car who stopped infront of me. i simply said i stopped. that i didn't see the cop until going through the intersection, and i shared what i recalled of him being apologetic, explaining that he made it sound as if he knew i hadn't done anything wrong. but much like a traffic cop who cannot unwrite the ticket once you appear saying "wait i'll move my car!", he made it seem like it was too late, he had to give me this ticket. but it could be undone in court.
the judge paused for only a moment to then say that she believed officer blah blah blah would not have pulled me over if he had not seen exactly what had taken place - that i did not stop. and yet, because she believed me too, she was giving me the benefit of the doubt. with a warning about always stopping at future stop signs, she let me go. no points, no $118 fine.
i left feeling victorious.
and only a couple of moments later felt a huge amount of guilt wash over me and my victory.
what was i proud of? being a good liar?
making a mockery of the symbolism of "swearing" on the bible. i don't believe in it but i bet that cop and judge did.
more than anything i was ashamed i didn't say what i really wanted to say,
"that sign is bullshit and should be removed"
but i knew that wasn't going to get me out of a fine, if anything, i might have been asked to pay more.
if the purpose of the fine is to deter people from committing the same offense again, then without paying it, it worked. i promise to stop at all the stop signs. even the stupid ones.