the great wide open

there is a chance that i move to portland maine in august and do...i don't know what for work/life
there is a chance that i stay in philly and stay at the same job that i have currently
there is a chance i stay in philly and start a small daycare in my home
there is significantly more than a chance that in five months and two days (give or take two weeks) i am going to have a baby

BUT

there is no chance that i join the circus, start an aerial dance troupe or make an acceptance speech at the oscars in the next couple of years (all things i had seriously been considering for quite some time)

and while there are many unknowns in my future, i am excited for all the possibilities those unknowns bring with them.

and despite the undeniable feeling that i am getting older and that part of that means that certain "dreams" will be put to rest for now - which is ok, because the truth is that i couldn't come to a decision about who i would bring with me to the oscars anyway...

i am also so excited (maybe excited is not quite the right word) for this awesome physical, spiritual, amazingly natural transformation taking place in my body. i don't consider myself a very "spiritual" person, but there is something very magical, and maybe divine happening here.  i wonder how/if that feeling will last...