roses and thorns

when i used to work at a summer camp i would sometimes ask the kids to reflect by sharing their "rose" and their "thorn" of the day

your rose was a part of the day that you particularly liked
your thorn referred to a part that was challenging
and  sometimes we would add in your "rosebud " which was your hope for the following day

i benefit from playing this game with myself even now (or especially now?) as a grown-up(ish).
it's a way to take the time and be thankful for the things that i have/enjoy and acknowledge the things that challenge me. 

somehow in this simple act of acknowledging, i feel like i am working toward making myself better equipped to handle those challeneges, or more aware of how to then avoid them.

this past week had a great many roses and thorns.

seeing people that i miss and love and getting to spend time with them were amoung the roses.
as was going out to see dance at the annenberg, hear stories at first person arts (the philly equivalent of the moth in new york) and seeing my newer and older dog finally enjoying each other's company and playing together. all these things remind me that i am a person who thrives on conncetions - to people, animals, ideas, i like to be engaged in the world.

amoung the thorns were being preoccupied with what other people thought about something i did or said, being tired, and feeling a sudden and dramatic loss of control over my feelings for a little over 24 hours. these things remind me that i am also a very emotional person - those emotions are responsible for the wonderful highs that i can have but also for the devastating lows. i am learning that perhaps, as a friend wrote recently, the best way to manage those emotional moments is not fight them, but to let them pass through me. like a cool breeze that i know will not leave me frozen, but is fleeting; making its way through time and space it happens to cross my path just long enough for me to feel it, and then let it go.