since becoming a mom a variety of things have changed in my life
i do not wake up without panicking first "did i fall asleep holding the baby? is she in my arms?, oh, she's in her crib (where i put her)"
i now know where all the loudest creaks are in the floor of our house
i sleep more than i used to
i am more tired than i have ever been
my hair is falling out at a rapid pace
i am the most out of shape/weakest i have been in over a year
i am the thinnest i have been in over a year (thank you thyroid problem)
when i wake up in the morning i cannot open my left hand with out prying it open with my right (thank you thyroid problem)
the bagels in my freezer are now competing with breast milk for real estate
there is a breast pump or one of it's parts always out on the kitchen counter
getting in and out of the car takes approximately three times longer than it did before
i used to know how to put a baby to sleep, now with my own, i have no idea
any mundane movement or activity can quickly become a one woman show (like when i was trying to get a duffel bag, the baby and the two dogs out of the car after parking too close to a tree, making it difficult to open the door of the car sufficiently wide to get the car seat out, and tricky to detach my hair every time it got caught in one of the low branches....but it made me think of the movie towheads and i was able to laugh it off....despite my annoyance at the woman watching the show from her stoop who neither offered to help nor paid for her ticket)
my hormones are more out of whack than they have ever been (and if you know me, you must be thinking "how much worse could they get?" the answer is "a lot...")
the list of things that make me cry have grown to now include:
anything if directly after or during a 1 plus hour of "trying to put the baby to sleep" session
thinking about the people little m will never get to meet
the smile little m can produce that relieves whatever stupid thing i'm frustrated by
thinking about any and all future life events for this little babe; marriage, graduations, first accordion recital...whatever , i will cry at all of it.
4 comments:
beautiful. the hair thing is a real issue. i am shocked i am not bald. as for sleeping more, there will be parents who want to punch you (not me, i think sleeping is boring) and you may end up eating your words. yes, motherhood is comical and tragic. all at once.
Beautiful. Missing you and all of this.
Love your post. Just read a great and quirky novel called Shine, Shine, Shine by Lydia Netzer that has a lot of interesting things to say about motherhood and the value of being different. I think you would appreciate it a lot right now....in your spare time of course!
great to visit you and see that despite all these inconveniences life is good. you have a beautiful baby that sleeps pretty well and is adorable.
with regard to your thyroids, this will be gone soon as it is for sure a side effect of pregnancy.
we had a great time there and we already miss you all.
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