drop off

for the past three weeks i have been leaving little m at daycare and having my heart sink just a little with every goodbye that was quickly followed by lots of crying (by her....not me). usually the crying was short-lived, but fierce.  i would hear it erupt as i turned to leave (sometimes quickly looking back, sometimes not) but usually by the time i got to the door of the center i could no longer hear her. she would already be in a teacher's arms, distracted and calmed.

two days ago was the first time that she didn't cry. i gave her a kiss and said goodbye and she didn't quite acknowledge me. maybe she didn't realize i was going? for whatever the exact reason, it was clear that she was so enthused by the things in her classroom that she wasn't bothered by my departure.

she was busy with her hands deep into a bin of dry corn kernels and split peas; taking pleasure in that amazing gift we have - the sense of touch. watching her discover these simple joys is so satisfying and rejuvenating. as if through being with her, i am reliving my own childhood, or sometimes recreating the one i had.

i share with her in every heartbreak, every accomplishment, every delight.